Don't ya ever get busy and realise heeeey the emails I write to people are quality stuff. they have quotes and they have conversation and they're better than whatever I have to say today. therefore I will share with you some emails between me and André. no steamy stuff, so don't get too excited! *wink*
From the sardonic-hee mailbag!
11:17 PM CST
André's reply from the email about Awlbee
Subj: To heck and back again!
Date: 7/28/2001 3:07:01 AM Central Daylight Time
From: André
To: Me
Hey Cutie Buttons,
>do you have
>caller ID?
Well, the first night he woke me up and I just grabbed the phone. The ID said "annonimous". (Did I spell that right?) I usually don't answer those. Next time I didn't twice and then he called from a pay phone. My brother doesn't have a phone so I answered. Anyhoo, he sounded like the kind of kid I was always saving from bullies in High School. Kinda young actually. But, all in all, he hasn't called since I promised to email. And he did give me some contact info, so I guess he's not all bad. If I ever find him, I won't kill him. I'll just switch his head with his ass. Just kidding.
Enough about wierdos. I will speak of him no more.
Ethan=Poof
*Gasp!* Stop being mean! ~LOL~
>is it bad I use MSN sometimes? heh.
Well, only if you use it for e-mail. MSN users will be the first to feel the wrath of the Microsoft Passport. Basically, they plan to remove the POP3 e-mail for MSN users and give then Hotmail Type accounts. (Not actually at Hotmail I assume since almost every user name in existance is taken.) Anyhow, they are caughting hell in a cheap toupé for all the plans. Chances are about 1/3 of what they want to do will be done. Can you believe, I had about 7 more points to make about their evil. I got tired! That's have evil they are!
>...I hear 4.7 is the worst
It works ok. Version 6 (by the bad people at AOHELL)[Yes, I have issues with them] is Webster's definition of crapola deluxe. There are a lot of things out there that only work in either Netscape or IE, and really, considering that your site is personal, I wouldn't worry about it.
I rock.
Anyhoo, today I had to scrape. Paint that it. Saturday (which actually is today by the clock) we have carpet installed so we had to paint today (officially yestday.) I hate being handy. Not that I hate working, but I don't like to stop. I take two, maybe three 5 minute breaks the whole time. Now, physically, I'm beat. But I'm a terror with a heat gun in my hands, so who else was gonna do it? I'm tiling my room, so I can wait until next week to do mine. I'm installing a throne. Just kidding.
But my dream house will have one. A huge and high one. For greeting my childrens dates. I'll sit upon high and look down on them with contempt for daring to think themselves worthy of dating the fruit of my loins! I'll shout things like, "SILENCE!" and "REMOVE THE CHILD!" then if they haven't run away, I'll take them to the collection room.
I never told you did I? I collect weapons. Not ordinary firearms. Cool stuff like swords, axes, mauls, and the like. Especially decroative stuff. Shiney shiney. I have just a few. I hate showing them though. People TOUCH them! Good Lord! These are object of pure purtay artistry. They leave finger prints! Did I feel all over the blade? NO! THEN WHY DO THEY! NO TOUCHY! Anyhoo, I'm seeing spots. New subject.
Our cat's breath smells like cat food....
You know, I'm sitting here listening to the radio. Ya know why? I wanna hear "Join Together" by The Who. It rocks. I don't know why but I want to hear it. 93.7 won't say there number so I can request it. Grrr....
Well, I really should get to bed. The carpet layers are gonna be here at 8. That's in just under 5 hours. But look at me. I'm still typing! Why can't I stop? WHY???????? See? One question mark woulda done it. But noooo, I had to go all out! Much... End... E-Mail! This will take effort!
Laters! *arrrgh*
Until next time, *huff, puff*
I remain, *fingers... uncooperative!*
André, Man of Destiny!
*QUICK! HIT SEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
---
My reply to this
Subj: Re: To heck and back again!
Date: 7/28/2001 11:12:24 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Me
To: André
hi, yes I start this entry with a correction since ya asked: it's "anonymous" heh.
I use too many big words in my entries lately; not that that's one of em but sometimes I'll even look it up in the dictionary to make sure I didn't make it up cause ya know, sometimes I do that when I'm in the moment.
anyway, weird. now, if he sounds like a kid then it's "probably" not dad's friend Suj though the guy may be 30 he does have a 21 yr old voice and look to him; and he likes to come on to me and weird me out sooo I figured since this Awlbee weirded me out it would be him but that's my own thing.
I just wish I knew his real name so I could be sure I really know him from way back. that's what's peeving me the most.
---
<< Ethan=Poof >>
hee! awww...I'm actually worried about him. he hasn't written in a month and his last entry said "I don't belong up here, I belong down there. sleepytime" and earlier in the entry he wrote that he went to the doctor and supposedly had something wrong with his 'ticker' ...I'm just worried he died or something and haven't even thought of being tooo mean to him unless he comes back >:)
then I might act like a freaked out mom who hugs the child and then whips him silly; not that my mom was ever like that.
---
<< Well, only if you use it for e-mail. MSN users will be the first to feel the wrath of the Microsoft Passport. Basically, they plan to remove the POP3 e-mail for MSN users and give then Hotmail Type accounts. >>
oooh the horror! zee horror! anyway, I don't use msn.com mail, but I do use Outlook Express which seems connected to MSN messenger which I use at times. I have a passport; that took a hell of a looong time for me to set up for some reason and I was all mad. I used it just cause a guy I liked had invited me to chat with him on there. now, I hardly use it except to get to my mailbox without going to the desktop; yes, I'm lazy.
<< It works ok. Version 6 (by the bad people at AOHELL)[Yes, I have issues with them] is Webster's definition of crapola deluxe. There are a lot of things out there that only work in either Netscape or IE, and really, considering that your site is personal, I wouldn't worry about it. >>
hmmm ah. I did hear the new version 6 was faulty in some parts but I also heard it handled CSS better which is what my site runs on. tons and tons of css. I mean, it won't even show up without at least some; I think on the entries I have it where the main text box is listed in the css form as 'main' something or other and has the background colour, border, text, etc. without that class recognised it shows up as just a black sad void. I've seen it when I accidently deleted the css form before the launch and had to upload it again.
actually it seems that according to webstandards at webstandards.org (I think; I just ramble url's at random and don't look em up..haha), css is what everyone is supposed to use; actually no real html/tables are supposed to be used; just css and divs...this sounds too complex for me to comprehend right now though so I'm only half and half....
---
<< Anyhoo, today I had to scrape. Paint that it. Saturday (which actually is today by the clock) we have carpet installed so we had to paint today (officially yestday.) I hate being handy. Not that I hate working, but I don't like to stop. I take two, maybe three 5 minute breaks the whole time. >>
hmmm I just read yesterday of this journaller who was painting the wall outside their complex without their landlords permission; must be the season I s'pose? heh.
and I totally understand not wanting to break often once you're in a zone of some sort. I do that with webdesign, sketching and even writing if it's good. I can sometimes get so much in a trance that I forget to break all day and my hands are red and I'm sweating and ya know, this is with just typing or writing or drawing; I can just imagine real heavy work....actually I 'can' cause I half built my own tv stand and all that. plus, I programmed and plugged everything in. so, so handy when I never did it before. it was humourous probably from mom's perspective; me with the instruction booklet out racking my brain and she refused to help cause it's 'mine'...hee! ah well, I learned fast. she thinks I learn faster than her anyway at anything ...she may only be half right. I go on luck.
---
<< I'm installing a throne. Just kidding.
But my dream house will have one. A huge and high one. For greeting my childrens dates. >>
oooh myyyy!! heh. dad said words similar to this but more in the likes of if I see one looking at you, I'll beat them up. maybe that's why, till this day I'm sad and alone without love in this world :\
be at least moderate in your banishing :P
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<< I never told you did I? I collect weapons. Not ordinary firearms. Cool stuff like swords, axes, mauls, and the like. Especially decroative stuff. Shiney shiney. I have just a few. I hate showing them though. People TOUCH them! Good Lord! >>
oooh...we don't have any weapons in our house unless you count the steak knife which I doubt I'd ever use on an intruder; ick. would you use one of these weapons if someone broke in? or are they just for display? anyway, interesting; I might be abit intimidated if I ever saw whichever room these are displayed!
---
<< Our cat's breath smells like cat food.... >>
Simpson's right? we were discussing The Simpson's on Squishettes and someone mentioned this line...heh heh.
<< You know, I'm sitting here listening to the radio. Ya know why? I wanna hear "Join Together" by The Who. It rocks. I don't know why but I want to hear it. 93.7 won't say there number so I can request it. Grrr.... >>
hmm...can't say I've heard this song. I'm so horrible. I listen to mostly modern music besides whatever's on 99.1...mom laughs at me for listening to sunny 99.1 but sometimes they play Wham! or...or.....Enrique! hah.
---
<< Much... End... E-Mail! This will take effort! >>
you mean 'must' right? I thought MuchMusic or something; Canadian MTV when I saw that...don't ask. I'm into word association lately. hee! ya must've been tired. I stayed up till 4:30am last night but that's 'early' for me as of lately.
and, just for the record, I like writing e-mail more than just instant chat cause they're like mini journal entries. I should post one of these on a slow day, eh?
-Amber
------
André's reply from today:
Subj: The score is oogy to boogy...
Date: 7/30/2001 5:43:48 PM Central Daylight Time
From: André
To: Me
Amber,
><< Much... End... E-Mail! This will take effort! >>
>
>you mean 'must' right?
I was TIRED! My finger slipped! Thanks for pointing it out! Now I feel like an idiot! Are you happy!?! You've crushed my will to live!
Just kidding. (As if you didn't know that.)
><< Ethan=Poof >>
>hee!
I don't know why I like picking on poor poor Ethan. Probably because I don't know him and therefore I can make any assumption about him I wish. Getting to know him would ruin it. As it stands, the "Ethan" I speak of is simply a role I make the real Ethan play in my head. Go ahead, tell me something else about him, and I'll twist it and make pseudo-Ethan dance! Heheheh... I feel OK about this though, because I doubt real-Ethan would care. Pseudo-Ethan agrees.
>and, just for the record, I like writing e-mail more than just instant chat
>cause they're like mini journal entries.
Yes, that and it's less work. Sometimes I'd be online and people would want to chat. Well, I maintain a site for a living. It's a job. I'm working when I'm online most of the time. So I'd constantly be telling people I'd talk to them later. Some of them got hurt. Asked, "Did I do something wrong? You never talk to me." And I'd so, "No... I'm just occupied at the moment." And then it's something like, "You're always occupied. I think you don't want to talk to me." And I'd reply, "You live on the other side of the planet! It's day time here! Of course I'm occupied! I'll talk to you at lunch." And blah and woof and enchilada plater! It would go on and on. And one by one I'd send people to the invisible and ignore lists. For the record, I'd talk plenty. With most people that were online regularly, I'd chat 2 or 3 times a week. And my list was once over 20 regular (plus maybe, 40 occational) contacts! I was the man! But did they appreciate it? No. No they did not. So now, I'm almost 100% ICQ free. I've got a RL identity I keep in case someone who wants to hire me needs to talk. That's never happened, so I pretty much don't use it anymore. Now I just e-mail the "faithful" who understand that being "busy" doesn't translate into "I hate you."
And I can think my letters though. Get all sorts of good stuff in there. E-mails rock! And no one expects instant reply. I can sit here and surf a little while I gather my thoughts. Quality over speed.
BTW: Mr. Spook has pretty much a life of his own now. I don't think any one person could be "Mr. Spook" and do it well. While you may notice some similarity between he and I. But when I was Mr. Spook, I thought different. I even would occationally send people my RL contact, and they wouldn't catch on that we were one and the same. But, it actually became to much work. I gave you equal parts Mr. Spook and André when I met you. (Although you got a tad more Spook.) So hopefully I did a good transition job, and André doesn't seem bland. You should have seen (read) Mr. Spook back in the day. Here's a few key aspects of vintage Mr. Spook:
1) Mr. Spook (back then "The Spook" or just "Spook") died in 1987 and was only online to research the whereabouts of his one missing eyeball so he could finally rest. In his spare time he would chat. That was his story and he stuck to it. He had no RL identity.
2) All illustrations of Mr. Spook (seen mostly on Excite Talk! and his short lived web site.) showed and spectral aura coming from his left eye, sometimes accompanied by a scar running down the left cheek. Only the rare few would receive a pic of Mr. Spooks good friend, André.
3) Mr. Spook was into hauntings, chain rattling, soft fluffy sheets, and jumping out of closets while screaming "BOO!"
4) For a short period, there was a group of Goths who fellowed Mr. Spook closely. For an unknown reason, these Goths felt Mr. Spook was a King among Goths. They'd ask advice, seek approval, and never, NEVER questioned Mr. Spook. Mr. Spook found this a tad unsettling, but otherwise harmless.
5) Mr. Spook had an uncanny ability to "see" his chat companions. Actually, he'd just make educated guesses about trivial aspects of the chatter's lives. He'd make statements like, "What, you don't realize I'm in your closet? BTW: Could you pick up the underwear? There's only a sheet between me and your unmentionables." By sheer luck, said chatter would have underwear all over the closet floor. Or he'd say, "Your hair smells pretty after you shower.", and by mere coincidence the chatter had just stepped out of the shower. These were always, as stated, educated guesses. But it help build Mr. Spooks mystique.
6) Mr. Spook is the only alter ego I've have who had a distinct and completely seperate persona. Here is a partial list of my other IDs:
A) Boogey the Man
B) Zane (Near "Spook" level developement, but too many women fell in love with him.)
C) Mr.Slic
D) Carl, the Olmec God of Sheep Molesting (don't ask)
E) The Man (He's watching you.)
That's just a little bit about Mr. Spook. You may notice I refer to himn in the third person. He'snot just a nick name anymore. (I was called "Spook" which is slang for spy, because of my ability to spy on superior NCOs and Officers in the Army. It originally had nothing to do with ghosts.)
So I have set him free. Perhap he'll come back one day, but honestly, being Mr. Spook takes too much out of me. It takes effort. Mr. Spook thinks differently than I do, so I can't say what I'd say, I have to be "spooky".
Well, now I'm actually missing Mr. Spook. I will go and raise a glass in his honor. Laters.
Until next time,
I remain,
André, Man of Destiny
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Sorry for the length. I was going to edit it down, but BUT they were all so funny and I'm way too bogged down to read through it and see what isn't worth mentioning. I don't think there's anything incriminating in here besides the ethan bit, buuut I doubt he reads this and if so, it's just a joke ;)
I'm not ending this entry with thank you and not cause I'm not polite :P
*shimmies out to the tune of my own voices in my head* (that's good enough)
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