december 08, 2000 bathroom chat and weird compulsions 10:30pm last night, while taking a shower I got inspired to have a bathroom chat. like a detailed list of things that are good and bad about my shower experience. I know this might require a TMI notice if you're not into knowing about these things. so, I was thinking about the hair process as I lathered up and realised that I always take the removeable showerhead and aim it right at my head and press down really close to the head with it on scalding hot and leave it in one spot for at least two minutes. I do this to the surrounding portions of the head equally. the reason it takes me sooo long; about an hour to take a shower. yes, I rhyme! anyway, so I began to think ...it reminded me of when you're at a salon and they have your head in that sink; leaned back as they massage your scalp with lovely smelling potions of pink and white and lather it up. the scalding hot water they use is so relaxing. I realised this must be why I like to aim so close. it makes me feel like I'm playing hairdresser as crazy as that sounds. it's comforting to play things up in my head. I also noticed other things I do in the shower that might prolong the shower excursion. aiming the showerhead every which way to wipe away excess lather that has accumulated on the mat and the sides; then I streak away the hair down the drain and watch it go..down.down.down. the process didn't register until last night since I never thought about it before. I don't have anything to say about the loofah part since that's pretty normal. nothing unusual. one icky thing is when I'm sitting down to shave and I'm leaning down, concentrating so I don't cut myself and water trickles down my face from my hairline and I can feel it coming down at a fast pace in a vertical line; I panic and try to contort my face and wrinkle my nose so it won't go all the way down. I can't stop the shaving process to swipe it away with my hand. more comes eventually and it's annoying to keep stopping. well, last night this happened. I couldn't stop it; sometimes it'll just go down my nose and drip to the ground but this time, it. got. in. my. EYE.!!! I had burn blind eye syndrome for the rest of my shaving experience!!! I just couldn't bear the thought of getting up and grabbing the towel which seemed like eons away in my position. I just kept looking out of my one eye trying not to get water in there too and shaving very slowly. I eventually rubbed it raw and tried to blink and open it. it hurt...it really hurt! I had that bloodshot eye feeling afterwards and it was hard to focus at first. I looked at my leg and couldn't see where I was shaving and I think I missed a spot that I noticed later. at least no cuts. that's all I'm sayin' about that. after the shaving process, I get up and move to the other side to do my arms and hands and upper lip for that annoying one black hair and then I'm done. I stay in abit longer to turn the water hotter and rinse the hair once more and massage abit, then I get out. the out process isn't that bad. I won't go into the details really. it's pat self dry, put deodorant on, pjs on [I take my showers at night, yo!], comb hair, clean out ears with q-tips, brush teeth and flush toilet. aah, what I go through just to shower. zee processes kill me sometimes. at least they tire me out. I also must defog the mirror. almost forgot about that one. that one's a killer! it's hard to get the fog to be totally gone. I can barely see myself when brushing my teeth so I must sorta jump to see my face and make sure I got everything. I bet you're glad you're not me. thinking of all those bathroom compulsions last night made me surprised to see pamie's newest entry. she talked about flaws and such. I agreed sooo much with that and the what is your..thing thread from the forum. I wrote a brief list in there about my compulsions, but I seemed to leave alot out after further thought. most of the things initially listed I had had on a list I called Confessions on one of my earlier bios. it is now since gone since I thought I was probably outing myself too much and people would be scared if they read that whole list together. I mean, it started out small, but it grew humongously over the months since I'd add at least four new things to it every week! one of my newer habits is picking things up with my feet. I'll shift around paper or pick up things that have strings with my feet and lift them like weights. mom finds this a highly annoying thing. I sometimes find it annoying that I catch myself doing it, but other times I do it on purpose just to see what she'll say like the other day. she said I'd never get on the computer, so I gave this maniacal laugh and lifted one of her gift bags off the ground and kept lifting it up. down. up. down. over. and. over.!! mom finally gave in after ten minutes of this saying I'd have to buy it if I continued. I know I give mom a hard time sometimes. it's hard not to. I also must have the cds all facing the same way and the title of the disk going vertically and letters facing left. if they're not or the disk didn't do it right so this could be so, I completely lose it. at least, it leaves me in a funk for awhile and I eventually leave it alone. I have one mix cd with coverart now and the title isn't facing the right way. I had to face the front the wrong way to get the title to be correct. it's infuriating sometimes to live my life, eh? I must see the title for every episode of Sailor Moon or Tenchi or I will not know what it's about and can't watch it correctly. it bothers the hell out of me even if the title isn't that great or important to the plot. I just can't miss it. if I'm making say, a bagel downstairs and I hear the beginning credits for Sailor Moon, I rush upstairs as fast as I can and practically do a hurdle to the tv set to make sure I catch the title, nod accordingly and go back downstairs. I still don't know why I must do this. I also do this during Frasier since there's a title for like every little scene. that makes it alot tougher to catch em all since I'm hardly facing the tv during evening sitcom tv. I just listen. I think that's enough for now. erm, um, are ya still there? hellloooo??? drats! little updates: -still no josh -been talking to his cousin more often -still no josh and no, I don't think josh and cousin ARE the same person H.G.!! -I've got 7 cards left over with the card exchange. sending them next week, so if you want one, send me your address pronto. -the yoga site sucks ass and I haven't worked on it since after thanksgiving -my xmas list is too large and lindsey still hasn't read it. I wrote it on the same day I wrote the last entry. this is bothersome. -time to upload this previous // next // history All Writing/Images Copyright © 2000-01 Amber. sardonic-hee enterprises