may 07, 2000 in my head stupid klutz!! shutup with the 'ooops'!! 10:43pm argument between me and my brain about music: ME: hmmm...I should definitely listen to wild mood swings. I haven't heard that in awhile. MY BRAIN: what??? that's not the best album ya know. go for the first one with boys don't cry. I've been wanting to hear fire in cairo for awhile now ya know? ME: just shutup and let me think!! ::walks over to cd organizer and pauses with finger in air roaming the cds...finally picks up boys don't cry::: MY BRAIN: aha!!! I knew you wouldn't doubt my better judgement! [aside: that was quite a good cd. I forgot about it. I guess my brain is usually right when it makes firsthand decisions] me after being rejected: ME: ooh noo I don't want to hear anymore...I feel the tears about to come MY BRAIN: that's right, nobody loves you. boohoo! think about the kids with no beef in samalia. ME: but I don't know those kids and they might just be happy because they have somebody who loves them..whaaah. MY BRAIN: you're being childish. do you want people to think of you as a weakling who only cares about guys and what they think of you. ME: ::deep breath:: okay, I'll try not to cry till later. me after I bang into something: ME [outloud]: ::under breath:: aww fucker!! fuckfuckfuckfuck owww! ::louder:: ooops! MY BRAIN: you sound sooo stupid when you say "oops!" every damn time you bang into something or make a noise. you should tone it down abit dontchathink? ME: ooh great. I'm a loser. I'm the worst loser in the world. I do stupid things. I should just jump out the window. MY BRAIN: you know you won't do it so just shutup about it. the window is there ya know? ME: yeah...you're right. I think I'll just type more on my weblog. MY BRAIN: that's a good girl...yay!! let's find more websites!! let's make graphics!! well, you basically get the idea. I'm a nutcase when it comes to certain things. I just keep thinking about it and my brain is always arguing with me or over my firsthand thoughts or words. I would have a screenplay of my daydreams if I could, but erm, they're abit personal. always having to do with regular situations where nothing bad ever happens or if it does it's always resolved and I always end up feeling complete joy with those I'm with. not a usual thing in reality. I seem to like to have daydreams about me driving on roadtrips or at the airport. this could be a sign of some sort that I'd like to do these things. I dunno. it sounds better with the context, cast and the fact that I'm at home choosing the way I will react in the situation when I know in reality I will probably screw it up and cry and have a panic attack. I realise dreams are better than reality; at least I know that. anyway, I got offcourse here. this was supposed to be humorous. MY BRAIN: such a stupid arse!! you aren't even funny!! you're not I tell ya! ME: yeah, you're right. I never said I was. previous // next // history All Writing/Images Copyright © 2000-01 Amber. sardonic-hee enterprises

learned: my brain is usually right. I'm wrong. issue: aah...figuring out my stupid weblog. it still won't do archives right. on tv: nothing. today was boring tv day. anticipation: the belle & sebastian album I'm getting so I can make more music clips. countdown to birthday: about 8 days. look at my wish list: here contemplated: why I have to overthink everything. crave: another halls defense drop? you betcha!