Wednesday, October 31, 2001

My sinuses and allergies are out of hand again; I can tell it's that time of year when I wake up congested. I can't breath out of my left nostril and I just snort for hours...hah! I also sneeze all over myself and my sheets...hah! and myself...hah again! then I get out a stack of cds and my discman and lay there till it's really time to get up. isn't that zee life? more »

Monday, October 29, 2001

Today was going okay up until tonight. I finally burned that mix I kept talking about; the one for lindsey. well, the thing refuses to play track four (a song I really wanted on the mix damnit!!!), track thirteen skips (it skips throughout the whole song!) and a few other songs skip too. FUCK ME!!! as you can see, I'm frustrated as all get out. yet I refuse to redo it cause I'm so fucking tired and about ready to cry or curse and I don't want to waste another disk. damn that was a run on...running and running away. more »

Saturday, October 27, 2001

It's getting darker sooner ...darkness always makes me sleepy as fuck. I find myself lounging in my chair, looking out the window in the evening as the sun descends and the sky gets a light peach dimness across the horizon. mood music in the background and slight closing of eyes; almost a squint as I think of myself as the only one in this world. more »

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

Lately, I picture walks in the park wearing a peacoat as leaves flutter about; maybe a pond or a fountain in the centre. I don't understand what it is about this scene, but it makes me smile. I doubt it'll happen soon simply cause of where I live; weather is a screwy thing over here and I don't have a coat of any sort. more »

Monday, October 22, 2001

Yesterday I spent most the day in my room thanks to my stomach which is still semi-acting up today though not as much. I watched all of Adult Swim and read a chapter or two in the book club book, and listened to some music. after that I took a shower and came back online around 2am abit more rejuvenated. I don't think I've ever spent so little time online, but whatever. I mean, I wrote that entry that I tried to remember from memory, but after that, my time online was nonexistant. more »

Sunday, October 21, 2001

I appear to be late. *tiptoes across the darkened room* I hear weird screwy music in the other room; I thought it was coming from outside, but no, it's coming from across the hall. it's indian echoes and drumbeats. very scary. last night, I attempted to write the best entry evah, and when I pressed 'add this entry' I came to the rude awakening that my site was down at the moment; pressed the back button, but it was too late. I lost the entry! more »

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

Sometimes, I think too hard. I've been wearing myself out with thoughts lately which creates drama that isn't even there, yo! ..well, unless I want it there. I think I get this sick fucking sense of joy out of creating screenplays in my head I won't be writing down. I swear, my thoughts aren't completely normal. if I decided to write them down, it wouldn't come out right anyway, cause by the time I put pen to paper, the thought pattern would be gone anyway. more »

Monday, October 15, 2001

Oh man, oh man oh man. hold up. I forgot some details last time, so I'm going to tend to those and mention how my brain is slipping from the fumes of my nailpolish. sound like fun? okay then! more »

Saturday, October 13, 2001

Okay, okay, fiiiinaalllly a meeting to top zee Dino extravaganza. here's the deal, he arrived around 5:20pm and mom and the guest had returned for awhile then left again around 7pm and he left at 10:30pm after his third cigarette. lovely. heh. I was getting high off the fumes as I hacked away. woohoo! it was fun. more »

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

I've been a bitch the past few days. today I woke up, literally and figuratively, on the wrong side of the bed! okay, so I look blurry-eyed at the digital clock - 12:48pm - I roll back over. soon enough, after a weird dream about someone peer pressuring me to eat a chicken patty (I pick the crunchy bits off and eat only that), I roll back over all disjointed and covers disheveled about. it took me two seconds to correct my eyesight before I knew that it said 2:46pm!! it felt like only two seconds... more »

Monday, October 8, 2001

I've been abit lazy all weekend. I was extremely bored on sunday. ate alot and sat refreshing sites for hours. nothing bigtime. the news was on in the background talking about bombing afghanistan and bringing food. eh. I'd rather not discuss it though. just makes me all confused and abit scared of what'll come from that. I'm also scared about the anthrax dilemma in Florida. how the fuck did that happen? apparently mom said the letter with the powder on it was sent before the attacks which makes it even weirder still. anyway, yeah, I was bored this past weekend. more »

Saturday, October 6, 2001

It's frigid today. I can tell it's certainly October. I remember last year, when I'd put my hands up to the toaster oven to warm them. that was a lovely feeling. this year I'm just immersing myself in the coldness and listening to Honey yapping her ass off (well, now she shutup cause they must've brought her inside; poor thing was probably cold) outside the window from the neighbours deck and well of course, music to block it out. more »

Wednesday, October 3, 2001

The beats vibrate in my head and all I can think about is touch; longing for touch, wishing that I didn't look so wrong. bounce my head about, eyes shut, waivering hands across the room as it spins, I am blinded. I feel slightly dizzy half in the dark, with only a few dots of colour bursting through to my subconscious. flow with the music. become the music. yes, I made a mix cd for myself for once. more »

Monday, October 1, 2001

I cannot stop from yawning (I yawn and yawn till tears pour from my eyes from exerting myself; plus the onset of allergens), my head is filled with a migraine, my scalp burns (who the hell knows), my muscles ache and I wonder what the hell happened. I was feeling rather down last night, but was instantly (well depending on how ya look at it) cheered up. I went to bed calmer and without that emptiness inside. I'm not sure what has occured today that is making all go to hell..it seems I can never be mentally and phsyically okay for too long. more »