And yeah, what Hannah said.

And my number one -

[edited because I had a brain fart and forgot about the difference between 'you're' and 'your']

[apparently now I've forgotten how to use commas - eesh]

Pamie mentioned that you can get a yeast infection from wiping back to front. That ain't all, folks. I mean, at least now yeast infections aren't nearly as bad as they used to be, with the pills you can take or the 3-day creams, but they are still unbearable until you get over them. Your symptoms don't necessarily go away after the single dose pill. But that kind of poor hygiene can also cause urinary tract infections (of the ugliest sort!), as well as other vaginal infections, some of which aren't as easy to treat as yeast: candida/candidiasis, bacterial vaginosis, staph infections (you do NOT want one of those DOWN THERE) and probably a lot of other vaginal/urinary infections I'm not aware of. So -- do what pamie says, or else!

I like what Pamie said about the bra wearing. I wear mine almost all the time, too. I don't really feel comfortable without one. I didn't really love it when my mother lectured me on the proper techniques of putting one on, but she was right, and so is Pamie.

Girls, just love yourselves, ok? If some guy makes you feel bad about your body or your period or your emotions or anything -don't just kick him to the curb, kick his ass.

Good work on if he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you. So many people don't really get how much sense that makes.

Also: I advise, personally, against taking meds for cramps unless they're EXTREMELY debillitating, or however you spell that. I've heard (and found out) that if you medicate cramps one month, they're worse the next month. So try to take a bath, hot water bottle, massages from a warm boy (or girl), anything but meds unless you absolutely are dying. And if they're that bad, see a doctor. They shouldn't be that bad.

Um, that's it. Oh - don't wear something that is uncomfortable. Ever. One exception - if it's for a photograph, ie: family portraits, senior portraits, etc. Otherwise, just be comfortable. It's much more important that looking badass. Trust me.

quote:

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Originally posted by Emily:
Also: I advise, personally, against taking meds for cramps unless they're EXTREMELY debillitating, or however you spell that. I've heard (and found out) that if you medicate cramps one month, they're worse the next month. So try to take a bath, hot water bottle, massages from a warm boy (or girl), anything but meds unless you absolutely are dying. And if they're that bad, see a doctor. They shouldn't be that bad.

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Christ, I can't imagine wiping back-to-front. ::shudder:: Nor can I imagine leaving a tampon in overnight...

Now my all bullshit aside 2 cents -
Never think that you can just have a boyfriend and forget about your friends. That shit sneaks up on you too - so be aware. Keep in contact with them - it keeps you sane. I know what I am talking about.
And if your male friends make your boyfriend jealous - tell him to get a life. But don't go ape-shit if he goes out to coffee with Sheryl that he has known since 7th grade. You will look lame - I don't care what you think. And he will resent you. Just grit your teeth and make plans with Michael who you knew in college. See? That wasn't so hard.

Learn to cook one thing really well. It will make you proud of yourself when mom asks you for the recipe, and dad will get all misty thinking how grown-up you are. That shit works great in a tight parent situation.

Can't say it enough - KNOW YOUR BODY. Aside from handling your own poop, understand what your body does and why it does it. There are no repercussions, and God understands. (Speaking of - I REALLY need the chiropractor. Fuck... that hurt....)

Get dirty. Go do "boy" stuff. Figure out what makes your car tick, go hiking, go to the pool hall and check out all the fresh meat. It's damn fun to see how the other half lives.

Learn how to dance. At least learn to keep the beat. If the guys that are just not looking because you suck is not enough of a reason - let me tell you how many girls are poking fun at you. And we are freakin' vicious. Go to a class, suck up the best dancer at the party, beg your best friend to show you how, put on a record and learn to keep a beat.
And I beg you... wear a tiny pair of shorts under that flouncy skirt. I never need to see your underwear. It's not sexy to see a flash of panty - it's gross. That is not up for discussion.

Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize.

My add-in there:

Other girls are not the enemy.
Play nice.

Also: I advise, personally, against taking meds for cramps unless they're EXTREMELY debillitating, or however you spell that. I've heard (and found out) that if you medicate cramps one month, they're worse the next month. So try to take a bath, hot water bottle, massages from a warm boy (or girl), anything but meds unless you absolutely are dying. And if they're that bad, see a doctor. They shouldn't be that bad.

I don't normally post here, but when I read something that is false, I have to speak up..the last thing we need are women believing things that are myths or just plain not true.

There is no medical evidence that taking medication for cramping pain causes more excrutiating cramps the next time. While this may hold true for Emily, it may not be true for every woman. While physically, we are all the same, we are all very different.

I too, suffered from very bad cramps, where I would throw up, be stuck in bed, etc. The only way I could function was to take pain medication. This did not make my next period more unbearable.

I guess I am forever condemned to putting on my bra the wrong way! It's just much more comfortable for me, and I have never had any problems with comfort or fit. I hardly notice that I'm wearing a bra at all, which I guess it what matters in the end.

I just chalk this up to yet another thing I can add to my VERY long list of issues on which I have the minority opinion. I bet most people like Pamie's way better. And all the terrific advice from the forum applies here - get to know your own body and do what works for you!

Amen about the tampons. Who wants to actually feel the cycle. There is no need. Tampons! Word!

The bra thing: well, I am guilty of doing the twist around. My arms just don't bend to
the back like that. Sorry.

And one more word before I jet out of here:
Girls, don't steal men from another girl. Seriously. We are all sisters in life. Lets look out for each other and treat others as we would like to be treated. Keep your men, treat them well and stay away from other girls' men. Period. No ifs ands or butts (heh).

And as dinobeast said above. "If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you".
Too true.

A bidet looks like someone failed trying to breed a toilet and a bathtub. What they got was a bathroom fixture the size of a toilet, but with a spout and hot & cold running water. What you do, after going potty (usually #2), is you get the water to a nice warm temperature, then you sit on the bidet and (here is where my memory fails me on exactly how this happens), the water sprays up and washes your privates.

The first time I used a bidet was to shave my legs in it -- s-o-o-o much easier than sitting on the edge of the tub (which are rare in Europe, by the way.) Seriously, a bidet would be great; especially since I got monster hemorrhoids becoming a "twinmom." However, I digress with TMI.

Anyway, I have discovered a great new product. It's those wet wipes by Cottonelle. Basically a baby wipe for grownups. In fact, used baby wipes after I had babies. Try them. You'll feel very clean.

[This message has been edited by twinmom (edited September 20, 2000).]

quote:

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Originally posted by imzadi22:
DO NOT piss all over the seat

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DOUBLEPLUSWORD on that.
Groo, but that's disgusting.

You need not act like a barn animal just because no one can see you in that stall. Lipstick prints on a bathroom wall?! Are you even remotely aware of how many germs that thing has all over it and how gross that is? No disgusting personal behavior, PLEASE. That includes inappropriate behavior with unmentionable personal things, i.e., putting them/it where we can see them/it (see other threads for what NOT to do with used feminine hygeine products), and writing obnoxious graffiti.

I don't care to read that LaVerne is a poohead hobag or that Phred is stepping out on Tiffy. I don't want "your" telephone number or anatomically impossible sex-ed lessons. I also don't care who you have a crush on. If I wanted reading material, I'd take a book in there, especially as most of it would probably be spelled correctly...but you know what? I'm not really inspired to linger in there long enough to 'appreciate' your scrawls of wisdumb. Cut it out.

Personal gripe, to be sure, but DAMN. I have yet to go to the loo in a private home and see graffiti on the wall or tinkle sprinkle, but I suppose some people must be raised like that. I don't understand where the urge to make things nastier comes from.

quote:

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And show some class -
DO NOT piss all over the seat!

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Amen, sister! Can I get an "amen!"

I KNOW some of you seat-pee-ers are reading this, so let me say: the toilet seat isn't the dirty part, girls. The flusher is. And I read tons of medical stuff for a living, so I know.

Actually, according to what I've read, public bathrooms really aren't that dirty anyway.

More thoughts:

Don't be mean and nasty about other women and the way they look. I was catching some hints of this on some of the other "girly" forums. So, somebody shows a panty line. Big freaking deal! So, I don't shave my pits. So what?

And more on that soapbox: if you hate what you're doing to make yourself "pretty," if it stresses you out and makes you broke and causes you pain, if it takes up half your waking hours...maybe it's time to take a deep breath. I know, you think you won't get a guy unless you're skinny and hairless and shiny-toothed and perfect-haired. But...do you really want a significant other who's so obsessed with appearances that when you turn 40 he'll be after the neighbor's 16-year-old?

And I can't believe no one's mentioned yet: good lord, stop talking about how fat you are. You weigh 110 pounds! Chill, sweetie!

(edited because I am a serious doofus with this whole "quote" function)

Don't let anyone determine your self-worth but YOU.

If your friends make you miserable, they're not your friends.

If your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife hurts you, sometimes it's just life. If they hurt you all the time, maybe they aren't the right one after all.

Don't apologize unless there's something to apologize for. So often we say "i'm sorry" out of reflex.

If something hurts, stop doing it, whether it's a sexual position or wearing a particular pair of shoes.

Fetishes and kinks are fine if it's comfortable for both of you. If it makes you squicky or upsets you, don't do it.

Don't take nude photos unless you're positive that it won't freak you out the day your friend/mother/whomever accidentally finds them when you ask them to please pass you the napkin holders from the third drawer. Just saying is all...

Oh and i must say that "an ass infection in your eye" made me snarf chocolate milk on my desk. Thanks a lot Pamie. There goes my pretense at looking like i'm working.

Wear sunscreen, even if you're going to be indoors all day. It prevents you from getting sun damage, and that, ladies, is how you get wrinkles. Once they are there, no cream in the world is going to get rid of them permanently.

Don't overmoisturize. Too much moisturizer will actually work against your skin's natural healing process and compound any irritation you might have. Only use it if your skin is dry. When you do use it, don't overdo it.

Do not use cleansing products with alcohol in them. Not only will it dry your skin (forcing you to use more moisturizer), but it irritates it, which may cause more breakouts. I can't tell you enough about this one. When I stopped using alcohol-based products, my breakouts stopped. Also, if something is making your skin tingle, it's irritating it. That's not good. Use a mild cleanser like Cetaphil or Pond's 3-in-1.

Don't use hot hot water on your skin. Hot water is also an irritant. So is extremely cold water. Use tepid water.

If you have a zit, forget about Clearasil or Oxy or any of that stuff. It doesn't work. What it does do, though, is cause more breakouts, because they irritate your skin.

Bioré strips. Don't do it. Not only is it just hairspray on a bandage, it rips off skin. Even if you don't notice it doing it, it does take off a layer of skin, and all those tiny little hairs. You need those. You rip them out, and your pore gets all swollen, and that causes zits. Yes, your pores look all nice after, but you're really not doing your face a favour.

Basically, it all comes down to don't irritate your skin. I used to think that all the stuff I was doing to my face was good for it. Nuh-uh. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I couldn't begin to name all the stuff we put on our faces that do nothing more than cause breakouts. The worst one for me? Nutrogena facial cleanser. The one Jennifer Love Hewitt hawks on TV. It has alcohol and AHA in it. While AHA is good for your skin in small doses, it needs to be on your face for a matter of hours before it does anything. It's pointless in a cleanser, and I wouldn't want to get that shit in my eyes. Plus, the cleanser itself caused me no end of grief. Dry skin in nasty patches on my cheeks, breakouts, stinging eyes... and I thought it was good for my skin. I stopped using it after a few days. Just stay away from anything like that. The cosmetic industry is under no obligation to tell you whether their stuff works or not. They can lie all they want, and since cleanser and whatnot falls under the scope of the cosmetics industry, a lot of the info we have about it is false.

Also, remeber that it takes weeks for a pimple to form. Even if you do the damage today, you won't know about it for at least a week.

It's been within the past year or so that they started offering over-the-counter bladder numbers (not numerals, numb-ers). I can't remember the name of the stuff, because it's been a while, knock on wood. However, I'll track it down and post it as soon as I get the info.

Random comment: This forum is awesome. You're all great. I'm fortunate I found Squishy a year and a half ago. Thanks for being such great people.

I have a relatively new good friend (met last year) who immediately pointed out to me that I say "I'm sorry" too much. I need more friends like that.

About cramps, what happens when you only work out for a few days a month? It hurts, you get cramps and stiff muscles. Same with your goodies. Give it some regular exercise and it will be happier. Female gyno brought this up during a discussion about orgasms. Said when her husband was away for the week before her visitor she got cramps. When he was home and she was having a regular uterus workout she had no cramps. Masterbation became her workout when the husband was away and now seldom has cramps.

Much of your advice should be taught in school. people would feel better about themselves and less women would enter or stay in bad relationships.

quote:

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Originally posted by twinmom:
I have a relatively new good friend (met last year) who immediately pointed out to me that I say "I'm sorry" too much. I need more friends like that.

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I do this, too.

I say it even when it is in sympathetic response to someone else's misfortune (as opposed to anything I had any involvement in or anything that would be my fault), thus I have been encouraged to start saying "Dude, that sucks!" instead of "I'm sorry".

Working on it...

quote:

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So, uh, Heather? What are we girls with combination/acne prone skin to do? I'm with you on the moisturizer. But what would you recommend as substitutes for Biore strips and spot treatment creams? I have to use something to unclog my pores, and Biore strips seem to be the most effective. I don't get the kind of blemishes that go away ignored. If you have any insight to this problem, enlighten me. Please.

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Well, I'm not a skin care expert, but I'll tell you what worked for me.

I bought a book by Paula Begoun called The Beauty Bible. In it she has skin care plans for people with all kinds of skin (ie dry, oily, combination, etc). The one I use is this:

A mild cleanser, such as Cetaphil. It comes in a big bottle with a pump on it, and it's a little expensive, but it lasts forever. After I wash my face, I pat it dry (don't rub. Skin hates that) with a towel.

I then take a cotton ball and I wet it with a mild peroxide to disinfect. Acne is caused by bacteria and dead skin and all kinds of fun stuff, so if you kill the bacteria, you're halfway there.

Then I apply a moisturizer with BHA. I use Oil of Olay Daily Renewal Creme. (It's the only one I've been able to find here in Canada, but you might have better luck finding a non-moisturizer one. I need the moisturizer, because I live in Alberta, which is very dry compared to Quebec, where I used to live.) The BHA will help remove crap from your pores. I suppose you can use an AHA instead, but I found that they burn my skin. Find the one that works for your skin-type. I truly do recommend that book, though.

I do that routine twice a day. It takes a few weeks before you really start to see results, because like I said earlier, breakouts take several weeks to happen. I had really bad acne two years ago, and I was going crazy trying to get rid of it. I still have the occasional breakout, but they aren't as often, and not as severe, either. However, your skin might be different from mine. The book has about 10 different skin-care plans for people like you and me who tend to have breakouts. Pick up the book, or borrow it from the library, and find the plan that works best for you. Trust me, it's worth it. Not too long ago, my boyfriend told me I had great skin. We were just tooling around Safeway, and he looked at me and said "Your skin is really nice. It's luminous." He has never seen what it used to look like, so he had no idea how much that comment meant to me.

Oh, another tip is to stay away from scrubs with little bits in them, if you're having breakout problems. These only make them worse. If you want to exfoliate, use plain old baking soda with a bit of water. For a masque, try using milk of magnesia instead of the clay ones. The clay ones feel great, but they really don't do all that much. MOM has great oil-absorbing properties. True, baking soda and MOM aren't as glamourous as some of those neat clay masques, but they do work. If you're having breakouts, it's best to stay away from something that has a lot of chemicals in it.

I just learned from my friend who does skin care for a living that you shouldn't wear moisturizer to bed. At night your skin is pushing up toxins, and if you trap them under a heavy cream, they can't get out and then you get break-outs. ALWAYS wash your face before you go to bed.

Now, here. Help me with this. How long are you supposed to brush your teeth? I see some people take like five minutes and stuff. If I try and go that long my gums start hurting. When do you know that you're done? And do those tongue scrapers work?

And don't apologize when you've gone up to complain that your food isn't cooked correctly and they tell you that it's fine. That's the one I've been working on lately. You're paying for it. Get it how you want.

(edited to say: word on the orgasms helping cramps. it's the best medicine. seriously. it relaxes the muscles that are cramping.)

But seriously, that is the best skin-care advice I can give you. WEAR SUNSCREEN. While I don't have the greatest skin in the world anymore (it's not bad, just not the peaches-and-cream I had when I was younger), I am 38 and have been carded for cigarettes (occasional social smoker) several times over the last couple of years. And on a few of those occasions I was 100% sure the guy wasn't just flirting with me! The last time it happened, I smiled and said, "Seriously?" and the guy said, "Yeah, the thing says you have to look 27." So I showed him my ID and he was like, "No way do you look that age!" Made my whole month. I firmly believe that it is sunscreen that has helped me retain my "youthful" looks. Once I became aware in my teenage years that I can just not get a tan, I stopped trying, and faithfully used the highest SPF sunscreen I could get whenever I was in the sun. In my 20's I started using a daily moisturizer with an SPF of at least 15 (Neutrogena Healthy Skin is what I swear by now), whether or not I think I'll actually step foot outside my house. My good friend, who can actually tan (but prefers hers out of a bottle now), also wears sunscreen everyday, but she takes it a step further and puts it on her neck, throat, and arms as well. That's also a great idea, and I should follow her example -- I am pretty freckly even though I don't go outside that much. Like that commercial says, you may not count that 2 minutes it takes to walk to your car, but your skin does. Sun damage is cumulative, meaning just because your sunburn or tan is gone, doesn't mean the damage is. And any color your skin gets is actually damage. I really should wear it on the backs of my hands, too, because they freckle as well, and I don't really want people thinking I have "liver spots" at 38! (Porcelana and the like do a fairly good job of getting rid of these, although they won't undo the damage.) There's an old saying that you can always tell a woman's age by her neck (throat) and her hands. There's a lot of truth to that! Not that there's a damn thing wrong with showing your age, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm not ready to look old yet, since I sure don't feel old, and don't know if I ever will! Vanity is not necessarily evil.

Remember: any color your skin gets from the sun damages it. This damage is irreversible. The least it will do is give you premature wrinkles; the worst it will do is give you skin cancer (and melanoma is not something you want to mess with!). If you have to have a tan, fake is the only way to go. They don't even look fake anymore (at least not to me) if you apply them properly -- and you could even treat yourself for a special occasion to a salon-applied tan! How's that for decadence? Or you could just revel in your paleness, like me.