In any case, for all our sakes, please nobody try this skill in the public bathrooms till you're REALLY got it down. I'm not a hygiene-phobe at all. (Don't even get me started on this stupid, stupid "antibacterial everything" craze.) I don't worry that public bathrooms are going to give me cooties. I just hate sitting in pee, okay?

(btw, I also gotta ask... how does one go through life without ever using public bathrooms? Isn't that just begging for some kind of terrible infection/problem from holding it all the time? Makes me hurt just thinking about it.)

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Originally posted by Heather:
I hang mine from both straps with the cup facing out, so that gravity can't create the crater in the cups.

Does that make any sense?

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Originally posted by loraxc:
Okay, I've heard about this "women can pee standing up" thing, but I must ask: HOW? (without getting it all down the leg?)I mean, I am completely expert at peeing in the wilds without benefit of toilet, which I know some women can't figure out, but the standing-up thing...I don't get it.

In any case, for all our sakes, please nobody try this skill in the public bathrooms till you're REALLY got it down. I'm not a hygiene-phobe at all. (Don't even get me started on this stupid, stupid "antibacterial everything" craze.) I don't worry that public bathrooms are going to give me cooties. I just hate sitting in pee, okay?

(btw, I also gotta ask... how does one go through life without ever using public bathrooms? Isn't that just begging for some kind of terrible infection/problem from holding it all the time? Makes me hurt just thinking about it.)

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I have used a public bathroom once in almost 20 years. That was when I was six. I've never used one since then. All of my friends call me "bladder of steel" whenever they're out searching for a bathroom and I don't need one. Hee!

But seriously, there are several products available to assist women if they have the desire to pee standing up. I think this one product is called "The Wizzer" (God, I can't believe I'm talking about this) and is a long tube-like thing. You can use your imagination to figure out how that one works.

Generally speaking, when I said stand up and go, I meant stand directly above the toilet and go. There is no reason to sit on the seat because gravity will take care of the rest. Although I've been forced to do it other ways standing up (like when I went camping, and let me say that I wasn't a happy camper!)

I've seen those wizzer things online at several women's health websites. I don't have an actual URL to share because I never bothered to bookmark it.

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Originally posted by Jenna2:
Well, the way I do it, which I do if the toilet looks/smells particularly nasty (i.e. rest stops off the freeway..EW) is sort of a combination of squat and stand. Bend your knees like you're going to sit on the seat, but stop a few inches before your ass hits the toilet...then just kind of hold that position while you pee. That's my theory, anyhow.

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Hehehe! I call this the HOVER.

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Originally posted by Meg:

I have used a public bathroom once in almost 20 years. That was when I was six. I've never used one since then. All of my friends call me "bladder of steel" whenever they're out searching for a bathroom and I don't need one. Hee!

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Meg...I have to tell you something. I used to be a "Bladder of Steel" too. I went practically all the way through high school without using the bathrooms there because they were indeed so foul. I used to scoff at all those women waiting in line at shows, games, etc. "You poor pee-addicted weaklings!"

Now that I'm pushing 30, I'm not a Bladder of Steel any longer, honey. In fact, I have to pee all the DAMN time. And I've been told that it's got soemthing to do with the fact that I used to "hold it" so much. (I didn't even have to think about at the time, by the way.) It's not good for you, from what I hear. You should pee regularly and drink enough water so that you NEED to pee regularly. You shouldn't hold it, consciously or no.

Back-up, anybody? Back-up? Please?

By the way, when I asked the "pee standing up" question, I was *not* referring to the hover method. Come on, yo...I'm smart enough to figure that one out. That's the one that leaves me all the sprinkly presents. Not down with that.

I meant the full-on, standing up like a boy thing. Which I wasn't really convinced was possible. But luckily for all of you, I went out and found a website on how to do it. Yeeha! It's here: http://www.restrooms.org/standing.html , and it is quite enlightening. I'm planning to give it a whirl (starting in the shower first, methinks.) Though I'm neither hygiene-phobic enough nor squat-in-the-bushes-phobic enough to need to use it often, I have definitely been in situations where it could have been of use.

Not trying to freak out the pee-phobic or the gender-rigid here, by the way--just thought some of you might be interested.

(By the way, here's my fact for the day: urine is sterile.)

(edited to give y'all the right URL)

I used to have a job where I was working like crazy and the phones would go mad so that I barely had time to pee. I used to hold it all day!

About 2 years ago I ended up in the hospital with kidney stones. And let me tell you, the pain is unbelievable. They had to give me the maximum dosage of demerol and I still felt the pain! I had to have surgery and was in the hospital for 3 days with a fever.
(And after that 5 days of recovery that was NOT pretty! A tube in my urethra with a string out of my pee hole. Bloody pee. Much pain.)

Everyone listen carefully.... (or read, that is)
DRINK LOTS OF WATER! PEE OFTEN!!!!!

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Originally posted by christie:
I refuse to believe that any woman is wiping back to front. Nope, no way.

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Hate to say it, but in one of those TMI conversations we girls have, it was discovered that a certain friend who shall go nameless was too lazy to lift her heiney up and was doing the B2F wipe. And she also had UTIs and yeast infections constantly. And she was confused as to why she would be having so many when no one else in the room confessed to ever having had even ONE. Hint: those infections weren't from doing anything exciting.

Duh.

Just don't do this, people. I've never had a UTI myself, but from descriptions of the pain, I sure don't want to ever get one. Say no to wiping B2F. Always go F2B.

Preach it!

Front to back! Wax on, wax off! All one!
Dilute! Dilute! OK!

I was all set to try the rub-off trick, but I just looked down and saw the stain was gone. I must have rubbed it off on my jeans today without even noticing.

FYI: I can't get restrooms.org to open. Either it's down, or loraxc was just messing with us!

I have one huge favor to ask of those of you who pee standing up. It's something you probably never even thought of before, either. Actually it's a two-in-one:

(a) If you're going to do The Hover, please raise the seat before you do so, so you don't "sprinkle when you tinkle," like the silly bathroom-wall rhyme says. And if you remember to put it down when you're through, no one will think you're a transvestite.

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Originally posted by ChickenGrrl:
Um, pamie, you know I worship you for the goddess/princess you are... but it's spelled "deodorant."

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The funny thing is, the post actually went:

deoderant...deod...de...deodeorant...no, de... ah, fuck it.

I will never forget again. I just need to be told once. Now, the "it's"/"its" thing? That's just me being stupid. I do it all the time. Sorry.

Ask me again in ten years and I know I'll tell you something different. LOL!

A comment about periods/cramps ... realize that your ovaries work alternately ... that is to say that one month the left ovary releases an egg, then the next month the right ovary releases an egg. That's part of the reason that it isn't true about medicating one month making the next month worse. And it's also why some women just get cramps every other cycle.

And a word about bras ... understand sizing. It always gets to me when I hear someone say, "Man, she was like a 46-ZZ!" That's crazy. The number, like 34, refers to your ribcage measurement (place the measuring tape around your body underneath your boobs). The letter, like B, refers to how many inches larger your breasts are than your ribcage (please the measuring take around your body at nipple level). So, a woman wearing an A cup has boobs that stick out about 1", a B cup, 2", etc. Get it?

(Though I must admit that I don't really understand how a DD or DDD fits into that equation -- I've heard that a DD is really just like an E.)

Oh, another word about bras. Don't ever put them in the dryer. Always hang to dry. Overnight is always long enough for mine to dry. I have to wear underwires (sigh) and they used to get all bent out of shape quickly and start poking out (those damn things are sharp!!) ... but when I stopped putting them in the dryer they lasted much longer.

[argh!]
[edited because I'm a grammarphobe]

[This message has been edited by michele (edited September 22, 2000).]

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originally posted by michele:
A comment about periods/cramps ... realize that your ovaries work alternately ... that is to say that one month the left ovary releases an egg, then the next month the right ovary releases an egg. That's part of the reason that it isn't true about medicating one month making the next month worse. And it's also why some women just get cramps every other cycle.

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Originally posted by Meg:
You know...

Speaking of public bathrooms. What am I supposed to do with knee length hair if I ever have to use one of these digusting cubicles? There is no place for it. I hold it away from the toilet, of course, but I have to let go of it sometime to pull my clothing back up. Men have it too easy.

(Side note: I about died with laughter when I read your journal entry about long hair, Pamie. The "What the hell...?" comment about did me in.)

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As someone with butt-length hair, I'm going to describe my tried-and-true technique for keeping hair away from the toilet. Bear with me, it's a little silly sounding (and you will understand why I usually wear my hair up).

First I gather all my hair up together and drape it over one shoulder. Then I take my shirt and lift it by the bottom hem so that it sort of folds in half horizontally, and tuck the hem under my chin, making sure to catch my hair in the little pouch of shirt that results. This method requires that you keep your chin well-tucked to keep your hair corralled.

This way, you have your hands free to wipe, flush, etc. and you can extricate your hair without having to touch it before you can get out and wash your hands, simply by releasing the pouch from your chin (depending on your shirt though).

Don't brush your hair while you're peeing. Just because you're sitting next to a mirror and you're running out of time means it's worth getting all of that hair falling into your underwear.

It ruined my favorite black knit sweater. Seriously. I used the deodorant and it bleached out the sweater. I'll never use it again. Instead of white marks from the chalk - like deodorant that I used to use, it left little yellow bleach stained marks.

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Originally posted by Womb of Heaven:
As someone with butt-length hair, I'm going to describe my tried-and-true technique for keeping hair away from the toilet. Bear with me, it's a little silly sounding (and you will understand why I usually wear my hair up).

First I gather all my hair up together and drape it over one shoulder. Then I take my shirt and lift it by the bottom hem so that it sort of folds in half horizontally, and tuck the hem under my chin, making sure to catch my hair in the little pouch of shirt that results. This method requires that you keep your chin well-tucked to keep your hair corralled.

This way, you have your hands free to wipe, flush, etc. and you can extricate your hair without having to touch it before you can get out and wash your hands, simply by releasing the pouch from your chin (depending on your shirt though).

I told you it sounded silly! *blush*

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How to wear Nylons:
1. Remove from package, carefully unwrapping from cardboard. Recycle cardboard.
2. Put stopper into plug of a clean sink and place nylons in sink.
3. Boil water in kettle. Pour boiling water slowly over nylons. Swish. This is a sure-way to prevent runs. I dunno why.
4. Gently squeeze out nylons and allow to hang dry.
5. Once dry, remove your rings. Pretend your nylons are a deflated new balloon and stretch, tugging lightly up each leg.
6. Shuffle your thumbs in to the legs, gathering them up. Place over toe and, without wrenching on them as if they were wetsuit farmer-johns, slide 'em on up.

Wow. Working for a career woman's clothing store did teach me something. Sidenotes: be careful of both toe and finger nails. Never choose nylons that are darker than your shoes and clothing. Lycra & Silk blends are best but pricier.

I'm just sayin'.

Here's something I learned after a year of misery: if you're on the pill and having constant yeast infections, don't let the doctor tell you it's just "your diet" or "you just have to accept it." You don't and shouldn't accept constant pain, and no responsible doctor would tell you that.

Yeast infections nearly ruined my first year of marriage. Plus, having them constantly puts you at risk Pelvic Inflammatory Disease(sometimes when you think you've gotten rid of them, you haven't, and that makes your body very vulnerable). Insist that the doctor change your prescription. If that doesn't work (it didn't for me) look for alternatives. I learned to use a diaphragm, and it was the best thing I could have done for my body.

I don't miss the weight gain or sore boobs either. Pills don't work for everyone.

"deoderant...deod...de...deodeorant...no, de... ah, fuck it.

"I will never forget again. I just need to be told once. Now, the "it's"/"its" thing? That's just me being stupid. I do it all the time. Sorry."

Pamie. Ahhh, pamie. You know you never need to apologize for something as silly as spelling, even to Grammar Bitch! (And don't say you're sorry for saying "Sorry" either!) Heck, my father has a PhD and can't spell for shit, and my husband has spelled "deodorant" the same way you did for the entire 12 years we've been together... yet we're still together! (but at least I know you'll remember it if I actually find the balls to say something!)

IP: Logged

Wet your hands and pull the nylons with the palms of your hands. This works, especially if you're just trying to get them to fit comfortably. I don't suggest doing this to get them all the way on, but if they're just not fitting very well, like the crotch area is nowhere near your actual crotch, wet your hands and pull them up your legs without using your fingers. Start at the bottom, near your ankle.

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Originally posted by Lorelei_Lee:

Preach it!

Front to back! Wax on, wax off! All one!
Dilute! Dilute! OK!

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You know when you hear about how women shave... down there? There are women who go completely naked and those who do trimming, etc., and stuff? (Yeah, I'm good at being vague.)

1. What's "the norm"?
2. How do you know what "the norm" is? Do most chicks go around comparing themselves? Or is there some website I don't know about?
3. Um, besides hearing descriptions, how would you know that what you're doing looks right/good?